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Vaticaction Figures
Challenged to
do something with the colorfully-garbed Vatican guards, I went a
little overboard and came up with this little bit of nonsense.
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Age of Umpires
If truth be told, I'd sooner be caught picking my nose than
watching a baseball game. This means that I really have no idea if
there were ever umpires with this kind of power. But if so, it
must have been really cool.
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Tokémon
I can feel old age creeping up on me. I'm just not the hip
guy I used to be. You see, there's this Pokémon thing and,
well... I don't get it. Of course, I don't get Sailor Moon,
either, and I had to watch Akira twice before I understood it.
That said, here's some new collectible items for those of you in
the... ah... counterculture. Don't use these if you're thinking of
running for President.
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Quake 4:Quaker
Okay, I'm proud of this one. Sometimes I think of something and the skies burst
open, cherubim and seraphim
descend from the heavens and sing, "Dang! That's
funny!" Well, it's funny if you play Quake or are familiar
with first-person 3D games.
Or eat Oatmeal.
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Game Boy Senior
My father was jokingly pestering my nephew lend him his
Game Boy Color. I kindly suggested that a Game Boy with slowed
down games would be more his speed, so to speak. Hence, Game Boy
Senior.
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Beano Babies
For those of you who haven't heard of it, Beano is a pill you take to prevent gas problems. Beanie Babies are those cute beanbag toys
that cause otherwise sane adults to search every store within 200 miles for the blue
crab with the red spots (or somethng like that). Beanie... Beano... get it? Well, at
least I've gotten the urge to do jokes about flatulence out of my system... so to speak.
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Womb Raider
I have to thank my friend Mike
Patrick for this one. I was racking my brains for ideas when he suggested doing
parodies of video games, and suggested this one. I immediately knew how Lara should look,
but it took a while for me to build something around the image. I strongly recommend
printing this one in color. First of all, some of the text doesn't display in black
and white. Second, in greyscale, Lara looks... well, naked. (Now that you know, I can
imagine that all you geeks will start scanning your Tomb Raider boxes in greyscale.)
