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Cut Down Some Trees
This is just my take on GWB's "Healthy Trees
Initiative." My wife and I were staying at a bead and breakfast in
Massachusetts, and had a very interesting discussion about politics
over breakfast with some of the guests. In any case, my own name for
this the forest initiative came up, and it got a good laugh... so
here is a parody based upon it.
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Dick Cheney CardioCam
Here is something that isn't quite an advertising parody,
but I think you'll enjoy, anyway. As you know, the Vice
President's heart isn't what it used to be. Never fear, however.
The brilliant minds at Dumbentia Medical Center have installed a
CardioCam that you can view LIVE 24 hours a day.
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Boosh for Prezident
I cood make a lot of fun of Dubya and his rekkerd at
Guvernor of Tecksas. Insted, I'll just concentrate on his
fashinashun with Fonicks. Now, some of you may ask why I'm picking
on GWB instead of other candidates. Well... duh.
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CFSAGUIP
Otherwise known as the Charity For Stressed And Generally
Unhappy Investment Professionals. Hey, stock brokers have
feelings, too. It's not all caviar and champagne,
you know. Well, maybe it is, but that doesn't mean it's
easy...
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Bible Verse Wallpaper
As I write this, the U.S. House of Representatives has passed a bill allowing the
Ten Commandments to be posted in public school classrooms. It's clearly unconstitutional,
but why stop there? Why not have the whole Bible plastered on every wall? This one shows
the bill for what it is... pretty darned ridiculous. After I finished this one, I did a
little research, and truth is indeed stranger than fiction. There really is a company that sells this stuff.
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First Mattress Bank
I'm working on a Y2K computer audit, so of course everyone thinks I know what they
should do with their money "just in case." Here is where I send them. Checks
made out to "Cash," please. Warning: This file came out quite a
bit larger than usual (964K) so it will take a couple of minutes to download for you modem
folks. It's worth it, though... really!
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Jesse! Jesse! Jesse!
Three Jesses are better than one, right? At least, the political team behind Team
Jesse 2000 would like you to believe that. This is surely one of the strangest political
teams imaginable. Ah, politics! Trust me folks, this is probably only slightly more
bizarre than the reality of the 2000 elections.
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Kenneth Starr: Private Eye
What will Ken Starr do now that his investigation of the President is completed? Do
what he does best -- snoop into peoples sex lives! This Yellow Pages advertisement
explains it all. This one only prints well on color printers. For those of you who need
it, there is a black and white version as well.
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Monica Lewinsky SHOUTS
Out Tough Stains
The Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky situation reminds me a bit of the Gary Hart/Donna
Rice scandal of the Eighties. Donna Rice went on to do nothing particularly notable,
except for a series of advertisements for No Excuses jeans. I got to thinking about what
products Ms. Lewinsky might be able to promote. Here is the sick, yet (strangely enough)
G-rated result.
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I Want You to Pull My Finger
Okay, this is low brow humor. It always struck me that there was something more to
the way that Uncle Sam was pointing at you. Look closely at the expression on his face and
you'll notice that it isn't as grim as usual. The PDF is suitable for framing, set in
a red "mat" with a blue border. Looks great in any bathroom! Your houseguests
will know that you are a person of taste and class when hang this one up! Or, you can
download the JPEG version (74K) and send it to your
friends who don't have the Acrobat reader.
