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PMS Light
One day my
wife was feeling, shall we say, irritable, and suggested that she
needed a flashing light on her forehead to warn me when I should
stay away. So in the end this was largely her idea. I just fleshed
it out somewhat and exaggerated a little. If you like this, you may
enjoy the PMS Bouquet as well.
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Polygam-a-Cal
I don't personally know anyone who needs this, but then, I
haven't been to Utah
lately. I just imagine there are all kinds of problems with
scheduling when you're a polygamist, not to mention keeping track
of birthdays and graduations for dozens of children...
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Pickmaster 3000
Good taste. That's what Dumbentia is all about. What better
way to start the new year than with a parody about nose picking.
My first instinct was to call this Pickmaster 2000, but that would
be oh-so last year.
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Incontinental Airlines
Will my fascination with bodily functions never cease? Not
according to some folks. In any case, this ad features what must
be the absolute best slogan of which I have ever thought.
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Hair Relocators
As they say, "If it's funny. it's because it's
true." As I get older, I'm amazed at all the new places my
body grows hair. It's like going through puberty again, only
without the voice change and ability to eat mass quantities of
food without gaining weight.
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Backup Brain
I could use one of these. One to think up parodies for you
folks all day, the other to... sleep. If you had a second brain,
what would you do with it? I think I'd keep mine in a jar and show
it at parties. That's just the kind of sharing, caring kind of guy
I am.
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Napalm Pilot
The more I think of it, the more I think this might actually be a marketable
product. Of course, we'd have to make sure it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands... like
mine. (Insert evil laugh here). Oh, if you care, this marks the first time I've actually
sat down and created some original artwork for a parody (as opposed to using clipart or
modifying existing images).
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Caffiderm
The problem with coffee is that it wears off after a while. What I need is need
steady supply of caffeine in my bloodstream. I figure that a caffeine patch (like one of
those nicotine patches) is the next best thing to an intravenous Dunkin' Donuts caffeine
drip. (Not Starbucks. Sorry, but... bleah!)
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NICEPOINTS Credit Card
These days your credit card can earn you all kinds of stuff when you use it -- air
miles, credits for books, long distance minutes. Well, the North Pole Bank has an offer
that is too good to be true... or is it?
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Beard & Chest
I have no idea how this idea popped into my head. File this one under "I
Wasn't Drunk When I Came Up With This, But If I Had Been It Would Explain A Lot." The
concept is strange, but it comes off as funny -- especially if you read it through to the
end.
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The FTD PMS Bouquet
A little while back, I tried to cheer up someone of the female species (who was
feeling down at the time) with a FTD "Big Hug" bouquet. Only in retrospect did
we realize that this dark cloud over her head was caused, to a large extent, by raging
hormones. Unfortunately, nothing that FTD sells seems exactly right for that occasion, so
I had to make up my own product.
